ok, so i guess it's about time to let all of my 16 year old crush anxiety out on you innocent internet people. :)
ok, so basically i've been in one verrryyyy looooonnnnnnggggggg relationship since moving out here and being old enough to know what a real relationship is. Lets call him Kevin. Well kevin and i were together since may 27th of 2008 then he broke up with me on September 14th 2009.
sooo i tried to be friends with him but he kept shutting me off so we ignore eachother now... only problem being that one of my two BEST friends (Scarlet) is best friends with kevin!.... but anyway, thats not important right now.
so i'm first chair in our school orchestra and i'm in the pit orchestra for our annual school musical. i was sooo not used to crushing on a guy because i was with Kevin for so long but then came John...... **very long drawn out sigh**** he's a junior, so only one year ahead of me, and he has sandy brown hair and the brightest most dazzling blue eyes you could ever see.... he is playing guitar for the musical this year... there's only one slight set back....... he has a girlfriend.
now, i know what youre thinking and no no NO i am not a boyfriend stealing back-stabbing highschool girl. i don't plan to make them break up. HOWEVER!!! if it happens i'm not complaining. ;)
anywho, one of my close friends, Brittany, is friends with him!!! she actually started talking to him about me and i emailed him on myspace so he definately knows who i am.
i figured "you know, he knows who i am but he'd never be into me"
wellllllll, (this was a few weeks ago) Brittany was talking to me at lunch and said that John said (actual quote from her) "Well, i'm not sure i should be with her {talking about his current g.f.} but i don't want to hurt her." brittany said "but, you want a girlfriend right?" to which he replied "well, yeah"
to say the least, I was FrEaKInG OuT!!
yeah. and i figured out his pattern. he has my lunch period but his girlfriend doesn't. he has to walk right past me on the way to his lunch table. and when he seems NOT that into me he walks behind my chair to where i cant see him and he can't make eye contact. but when he acts interested he walks on the other side of the table and proceeds to look at me.
MAYBE i am reading into it too much but i really dont care.. after the whole Kevin ordeal i havent been happy at all. i love him and i thought we would be together forever... but things just dont work out that way anymore.
sooo a few days ago, walking out of pit practice i timed my exit to where i was walking right in front of John. he was walking kinda far behind but then sped up as we went through the doors. i could see my grama in the car looking at him but didnt think much of it. so i got in the car and was like "oh my god grama... i am on top of the world right now... did you see him?!?" she just laughed.. so getting halfway out of the parking lot we caught up with him walking a little ways ahead of us. he very prominately stopped, turned, looked STRAIGHT at me, turned back around and kept walking. I MELTED.... *sigh* and i said "Grama, isn't he just gorgeous??!?!?!" and she said "yeah, he has a nice smile". i was so confused, i didnt see him smile in the short time he was facing both of us. so i questioned. she said "when he was walking out of the school behind you he was watching you, smiling, then he saw me looking at him and covered his mouth with his phone." i couldnt breath... LOL... then i came to realization, or so i thought.
"he was probably talking on the phone."
"the screen of his phone was black."
"well, maybe he was looking at someone in front of me."
"he was right behind you Kyira. i was watching him."
she had an explanation for everything!! i was amazed...
THEN, the next day, i was sitting at lunch and happened to look up to see him completely stopped a couple tables down looking straight at me! eye contact was made and i smiled and looked down... and he walked on the opposite side of my lunch table!... :D
TTHHHEEEENNNN!!! we had pit practice the other day on a snow day and i figured, ehh he won't be here. then one of the cello players, Brandon, answered his cell phone, ended the conversation with "k" and got up and walked out of the room. then came back with John walking next to him. apparently he had to let him in the school. XD
so i was sitting there, not even paying attention (i was tired.. lol) and i glanced over to him, not even on purpose and his brilliant blue eyes were boaring into mine!!!! i am a very shy person, so i think i actually literally jumped, blushed like no other!, smiled and looked down. OMG! he was looking at ME! ..... i couldnt make eye contact again for sure unfortunately but im going to try something next week to see if he opens the door for me, not as a sign but just being polite, and see if i cant strike a little bitty like 4 word conversation so i get "socially legal" permission to say "hey" to him in the hallway. :)
but ok... i'm going to get back to my book i'm writing. XD
i'll keep ya updated!!
night night
~Kyira Lillie
ok, so basically i've been in one verrryyyy looooonnnnnnggggggg relationship since moving out here and being old enough to know what a real relationship is. Lets call him Kevin. Well kevin and i were together since may 27th of 2008 then he broke up with me on September 14th 2009.
sooo i tried to be friends with him but he kept shutting me off so we ignore eachother now... only problem being that one of my two BEST friends (Scarlet) is best friends with kevin!.... but anyway, thats not important right now.
so i'm first chair in our school orchestra and i'm in the pit orchestra for our annual school musical. i was sooo not used to crushing on a guy because i was with Kevin for so long but then came John...... **very long drawn out sigh**** he's a junior, so only one year ahead of me, and he has sandy brown hair and the brightest most dazzling blue eyes you could ever see.... he is playing guitar for the musical this year... there's only one slight set back....... he has a girlfriend.
now, i know what youre thinking and no no NO i am not a boyfriend stealing back-stabbing highschool girl. i don't plan to make them break up. HOWEVER!!! if it happens i'm not complaining. ;)
anywho, one of my close friends, Brittany, is friends with him!!! she actually started talking to him about me and i emailed him on myspace so he definately knows who i am.
i figured "you know, he knows who i am but he'd never be into me"
wellllllll, (this was a few weeks ago) Brittany was talking to me at lunch and said that John said (actual quote from her) "Well, i'm not sure i should be with her {talking about his current g.f.} but i don't want to hurt her." brittany said "but, you want a girlfriend right?" to which he replied "well, yeah"
to say the least, I was FrEaKInG OuT!!
yeah. and i figured out his pattern. he has my lunch period but his girlfriend doesn't. he has to walk right past me on the way to his lunch table. and when he seems NOT that into me he walks behind my chair to where i cant see him and he can't make eye contact. but when he acts interested he walks on the other side of the table and proceeds to look at me.
MAYBE i am reading into it too much but i really dont care.. after the whole Kevin ordeal i havent been happy at all. i love him and i thought we would be together forever... but things just dont work out that way anymore.
sooo a few days ago, walking out of pit practice i timed my exit to where i was walking right in front of John. he was walking kinda far behind but then sped up as we went through the doors. i could see my grama in the car looking at him but didnt think much of it. so i got in the car and was like "oh my god grama... i am on top of the world right now... did you see him?!?" she just laughed.. so getting halfway out of the parking lot we caught up with him walking a little ways ahead of us. he very prominately stopped, turned, looked STRAIGHT at me, turned back around and kept walking. I MELTED.... *sigh* and i said "Grama, isn't he just gorgeous??!?!?!" and she said "yeah, he has a nice smile". i was so confused, i didnt see him smile in the short time he was facing both of us. so i questioned. she said "when he was walking out of the school behind you he was watching you, smiling, then he saw me looking at him and covered his mouth with his phone." i couldnt breath... LOL... then i came to realization, or so i thought.
"he was probably talking on the phone."
"the screen of his phone was black."
"well, maybe he was looking at someone in front of me."
"he was right behind you Kyira. i was watching him."
she had an explanation for everything!! i was amazed...
THEN, the next day, i was sitting at lunch and happened to look up to see him completely stopped a couple tables down looking straight at me! eye contact was made and i smiled and looked down... and he walked on the opposite side of my lunch table!... :D
TTHHHEEEENNNN!!! we had pit practice the other day on a snow day and i figured, ehh he won't be here. then one of the cello players, Brandon, answered his cell phone, ended the conversation with "k" and got up and walked out of the room. then came back with John walking next to him. apparently he had to let him in the school. XD
so i was sitting there, not even paying attention (i was tired.. lol) and i glanced over to him, not even on purpose and his brilliant blue eyes were boaring into mine!!!! i am a very shy person, so i think i actually literally jumped, blushed like no other!, smiled and looked down. OMG! he was looking at ME! ..... i couldnt make eye contact again for sure unfortunately but im going to try something next week to see if he opens the door for me, not as a sign but just being polite, and see if i cant strike a little bitty like 4 word conversation so i get "socially legal" permission to say "hey" to him in the hallway. :)
but ok... i'm going to get back to my book i'm writing. XD
i'll keep ya updated!!
night night
~Kyira Lillie
No comments:
Post a Comment