March text entries

OK, so I know it's been really confusing to read these so I'm going to put them all together :)

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Monday, March 1, 2010

I despise the race of high schoolers consistent of ignorant, rude girls who think they rule the world. I'm not stupid, I know my place in the heirarchy of this school, but every once and a while, like a miniature civil war of the school, we clashed...
But anywho... I'm over it now. Like I wanted to say before:
I am now questioning John... I found out today that one of my best friends, Summer, is in the same class as his gf and Summer told me today that a few weeks ago, this freshman, let's call him Gabe, was completely trying to get her mad at me. Apparently Gabe was telling Johns gf "oh I know this girl who likes your boyfriend!" and luckily Summer save it and explained "no, she was just talking about him being in the same class as her Gabe!". Then after that she totally went off on him for me. See he sits with us in the morning and well he sees me looking at him and kinda questioned me about it but I never thought he'd do something like that!!!! Ugh!!!
This makes my hate for freshmen run even deeper... If that's even possible.
But I'm at lunch so I will finish my conversation later.
TaTa!! :)
Posted by Kyira Lillie at 12:31 PM
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OH!! However, I forgot to mention: this morning, me and my best friend in the world, Kiara, were walking to homeroom and she said, as we walked past him, that John totally looked at me. Lol. She's great. But idk if I believe his games anymore. I'll start believing it again when he breaks up with his girlfriend.
But now Scarlet is bothering me so I have to go.
Posted by Kyira Lillie at 1:30 PM

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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Ok... This is frustrating... We had a tornado drill just a minute ago and Landon came, completely blew off Kevin, and stood right next to me... Unfortunately I was right next to Scarlet. I felt so bad!! Ugh..... Highschool troubles.
Posted by Kyira Lillie at 10:21 AM
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So my goal for the rest of the day, I have decided, is that I can not look at him, look FOR him, let alone make eye contact for the rest of the day (speaking of John). Which will be hard during musical out practice.... But I can do it!! :) I'm going to work on my book now. :)
Posted by Kyira Lillie at 12:07 PM

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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Decision time
So I've officially made my decision about John...
He's nice to look at, VERY nicceeee... But he has a girlfriend, and walking down the hallway earlier this morning and I was about to tell him "the orchestra rooms open" because he was going to put his guitar away and I had just unlocked the door, but walking down in opposite directions, he didn't even GLANCE at me...
I am giving up with that until he breaks up with his girlfriend.
As for Landon?? Well, he's great to talk to but when I look at him and talk to him, he looks and me and responds different than he does to all his other friends... So idk anymore. A guy like that could never like me like that.
But he's still my Ghost Hunters buddy. :)
Posted by Kyira Lillie at 8:07 AM

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Monday, March 8, 2010

I've decided that I've been very ignorant and naive about my entire life as it exsists right now.
I do not under any circumstances like Landon. That's just stupid. I think it was purely rebound and/or jealousy.
John is incredibly content with his girlfriend and shows no interest what-so-ever in me.
So as for me right now, I'm done dating in highschool. :) guys just don't have maturity in highschool. I know I've said before that I wasn't dating anymore in highschool but this time I mean it. I know what you're thinking and I mean it, I really am done.
Let me inform you, I tried almost 5 times before to become a vegetarian and I broke down after only 2 weeks tops, with no prevail. (I've now been a vegetarian for 2 years)
Posted by Kyira Lillie at 1:37 PM
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Love is having the ability to forgive. When two people are in love, it isn't a fairy tale. They argue and hardly ever agree. But they can never stay angry for all of a day.
Love is a choice. If you are truly in love with someone, it is by your knowledge and decision. You choose each and every day to say the things you do. Love is a choice, you don't have to choose that path. When youre in love with someone, it doesn't mean that you are forced to be with them forever, it means that you would do anything to stay with them. Being in love is having the ability to work through problems to stay together. ANY two people in the world can be with eachother for the rest of their lives if they are comitted yet the same two people can be together for a short week. It all depends on which path you take.
**God, send me down the path of love and please make sure the guy that always seems to appear in my dreams is waiting along the way somewhere. And if it isn't too much to ask, please help me walk down that path to him as fast as possible.**
lame prayer, I know. But I was feeling it.
Just my thoughts.

And dreams.

And needs.
Posted by Kyira Lillie at 10:15 PM

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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

So, I am really superstitious and stuff but I kinda subconsciously know that it's just a fun thing that doesn't mean anything but occassionally I believe it.
For example- it may be a coincidence, but a couple years ago I saw 7 crow (which if you aren't familiar with the superstition means death) and the next day I found out that my next door neighbor stabbed and killed his broher!
But anywho, my horoscope today says:
"Romantic love isn't friendship, and right now you need to understand the difference. If you settle for a relationship with a friend you like but don't love, your life could become stale and lifeless. Don't ever settle for less; instead, hold out for the whole package."
So I honestly think it's a sign. I was mistaking my friendship with Landon as something that could be more, which isn't right. So I definitely don't like Landon.
And I most definitely DESPISE his beat friend!........
Ok, so I told myself that I wasn't going to talk about Kevin here, but I really do hate him. (don't anyone be thinking "hate is a strong word" because so is "love" and people throw that out like nothing!!!)
But ok, I'll finish this discussion later.....
Posted by Kyira Lillie at 1:36 PM

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Forget about Kevin, I've given up with that. I mean, don't get me wrong I hate him with a passion but I don't want to talk about that.
I have bigger news.
So, one of my best best friends who I seem to be getting a LOT closer to lately, Abby, is basically the only person short of Kiara that I talk to about John. But anyway, I'll tell you what I told her:
Well..... So the other day (I'm not sure if I told you this or not) John was totally stalling. After pit practice I was talking to my orchestra teacher and us three were the only people left in the room. It seemed to me that John was doing everythingin his power to stay in the room. He was messing with his shoe, playing with the piano, anything! Finally I guess he realized that I wasn't leaving so he walked out of the room slowly.
:)
Then yesterday, (it was probably because my two friends and I were laughing really hard but) he kept looking at me.
It was always me never the other two. Meanwhile I was texting Abby every chance I could get and she finally said "this guy seems really into you! You should go for it! You need to go after him ASAP!!!"
I asked her what I was supposed to say and she never really gave me an answer. So I tried to improvise but my plan was taken out of motion when he was on his cell phone and ran out before I could even put my violin away. I figured hope was lost but then Grama let me drive home and I pulled up to the stoplight RIGHT next to his car and his mom was driving so he was in the passenger seat LITERALLY TOUCH DISTANCE AWAY!!!
Needless to say, I was freaking out. I looked over there but he was talking to his mom but I thought I saw him turn back from looking my direction but I'm not positive. Either way!!!!! I was insanely ecstatic!!
Abby says I need to talk to him and I know she's right but I'm not sure what I should say??!!!! I mean, like I told her, I have to have a conversation topic planned otherwise I'll probably walk up to him, say something about peanut butter and run the other direction! Ok maybe not that severe, but you get the point. :)
The musical is in two short weeks. After that, I don't have an excuse to talk to him. So it's set, I have to say something this week.... I don't know how this is going to go, but I'm going to go for it.
Yes yes yes. I know I said that I wasn't dating in high school but I mean technically I'm not so I haven't broken my vow. The thing is, John seems like the perfect guy for me.... Blue eyes, older than me, cute, musical, sweet, adorable, funny, gentlemanly, HOT, taller than me, good personality, DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!!!!!
So I have to do this. I'm not going after some average high school guy, I'm going after my DREAM guy. Surely there's a vow exception for that. :)
Posted by Kyira Lillie at 9:40 AM